in Tosha’s world

Wanna get to know me? I can tell you a little about me. You might not like what you read or find out but honestly I don’t care. This is about me… Not you.. This list is just some things that make me… Well me.. I don’t fault anyone for disagreeing with anything in my list. Not at all. You don’t have to agree or even like anything here. Not even a little. It won’t hurt my feelings. I assure you I mean you no harm with my list. I do not set out to upset or anger anyone. Nor do I intend to put anyone down. This is just MY list of things about ME and how I feel..If it changes your outlook on me.. I’m sorry.. I am a good/decent person (sometimes) and you’re missing out..

1. My name is Tosha.

2. I’m 2*cough*9 years old but feel like I still need to ask mom and dads permission for so many things.

3. I have 4 kids. Ages 10,8,6, & 2

4. Taylor is the oldest.. She is 10 years old. She is stubborn, opinionated, and hard headed.. She is a mother hen and bosses the other kids around.

5. Cole is 8 and is all boy! He is just like his daddy. Busy, bull headed, temperamental, destructive, and the most caring lil boy i’ve ever met.

6. Jewel is the apple of my eye. She is 6 and is a big momma’s girl. Sweet as can be. Often pushed around by the other 3.

7. Wyatt is a 2. He is the busiest toddler i’ve ever seen. Into EVERYTHING!!!! He can tear a room up in less than 2 minutes and climb on top of the kitchen table FRIDGE.

8. I’m Tired. Extremely tired all the time

9. I Love my kids but they drive me 100% insane every day!

10. I’ve been married 10 years in september. It really doesnt seem like it should have made it this far.

11. I question myself every day. Am I doing the right thing? Am I screwing everything up? Can I do this? Will my kids talk about me in therapy in 10 years?

12. Can I finish this list????

13. We have 2 fish. The others died We HAD 2 fish.. Hurricane Ike killed them.

14. I do not like dogs or animals that much

15. My inlaws live next door.. Enough said..

16. I enjoy reading.

17. I like to paint too..

18. I can draw/sketch some. Not people just scenery. I really bite at doing people.

19. I hate hurricanes. This seems like common sense I know but I lost my house due to Hurricane Ike last year. I don’t want to go through that again.

20. I feel like i’m being swallowed whole.

21. My marriage sucks. I gave up on it along time ago. I’ve nothing left to give.

22. I’m extremely sarcastic. It’s truly a gift

23. I don’t make friends easily (it must be the sarcasm)

24. I don’t trust easily. Too much experience there to trust easily.

25. I have a few friends i’d do anything for. I know they’d do the same for me

26. My family means everything to me. It’s why I tolerate as much as I do.

27. My favorite movies are Gone with the Wind and Fast & Furious.

28. I’m secretly in love with Paul Walker. Its a secret. Tell NO ONE!

29. I love video games.

30. I don’t get along with many..

31. Society sucks.

32. I love alternative music.

33. I have to have music playing at all times. I have to.

34. I’m a severe insomniac

35. I have a blackberry and I like it.

36. I like the twilight books..

37. I don’t like the heat or humidity. Living in  Texas has its drawbacks..

38. I can be a nice person.

39. I clean house in the middle of the night. It wakes people up. This seems to be a problem.

40. I have another blog that none of my family or friends know about. Its a dark secret.

41. I’m a jeans and tshirt kinda gal.

42. I don’t like country music.

43. I  luv mexican food.

44. Pasta is a close second.

45. I dye my hair black. My mother hates it and I luv it..

46. I’m going to get my eyebrow pierced very soon.

47. My lip soon after that.

48. I stand up for what I believe in.

49. My friends and I rarely agree on things. I’m always the odd ball.

50. I’m totally okay with being the “weird friend”

51. I got a cat. His name is Jasper. He is stinking cute!

52. I’m also told i’m a very negative person. I don’t think this is entirely true. I don’t think its negativity at all but instead it’s me being real. I see reality not some make believe fairy tale of what could happen.

53. I like Rum.. It’s my favorite alcoholic beverage..

54.  I’m bipolar (this probably should have been number 2 on the list). I’m rarely nuetral. I’m usually in a manic, depressed, or mixed state. Sometimes I’m completely numb which is sometimes worse than mania or depression)

55. I dislike most people. Society as a whole is stupid. They do stupid things or act stupid. They fail to use common sense.

56. I can not tolerate people who do not use common sense.

57.  I don’t watch tv. I hate the tv. I’d be okay if we didnt own one. I’d like to pick ours up and throw it out the window 90% of the time.

58.  I don’t believe in God or heaven or hell..

59.  I do believe in Karma however

60.  I dont find Jim Carrey funny..He actually annoys me..

61.  I have no desire to get in an airplane.

62. I hate spiders. I think they should all die

63. The tv in my living room right now is my 6 year old’s Dora the explorer tv..

64.  I am the queen of grudges. I can hold a mean grudge. I don’t get over things that really caused me grief very easily. Yes the therapist says thats bad for you but why should we just let things go that hurt/bothered us? Forgiveness can be very overrated.

65.  I’m a pretty bitchy person.. In general.

66.  Breaking Benjamin is my favorite band right now. I’m pretty hooked on the twilight soundtrack as well..

67.  This list is a work in progress…