The itch I can’t scratch….right now
I’m dying over here.
NO! Yes? NO! I’m speaking figuratively.
I’m dying b/c I WANT something I can’t have right now.. Its really really bugging me.
I can’t stress enough just how badly its bugging me. It’s like an itch you can’t scratch.. It wont stop till its scratched.
So…That means I really need to get this so the itch will stop..
I want more ink.. I need more ink. I can’t describe the want to you.
I need it and I’m going to get it. Its just a matter of when.
The fam took the first ink okay. They were not thrilled. (HELLLOOOOO FAMILY!) Not everyone’s reactions were even neutral. Some were almost comical. Well to me anyway. I’m sure they thought they were pulling off the whole “i’m appalled what the hell did you do to yourself” look and tirade. What could they really say about it though. My sister and I got matching tatts in honor of our brother who died 10 years ago at the age of 3. MY family couldnt say anything really negative about it. My grandmother asked quietly if it was permanent and when I said yes she just said okay.
Hubs family.. OH BOY! yeah.. The biggest hypocrites in the United States. Did they REALLY think their opinions would matter?
The biggest hypocrite of them all.. She had the nerve to start yelling at me and ask why on earth i’d mark my body like that. Then when she didnt get the reaction she wanted she changed her tactic.. She started attacking what the tattoo stood for.. What. THE. HELL? She said” why would you put something DEAD on you?” There was no explaining it so I just laughed at her because really. Her intelligence is lacking and age does not always equal wisdom. That or years of boozing and toking up followed by going to repent at church the next day has finally caught up with her. Her brain cells are lacking. SERIOUSLY Lacking! Or.. she’s being punished for being a hypocrite..Either or..
So anyhow. I’m sure part of the fam feels that the whole ink thing is just me rebelling against them. (yeah someone said that) but thats not the case. I wouldn’t mark my body with something I couldn’t remove just to rebel against something/someone. okay maybe I would but that’s not the point. I’m not going to do something unless I really want to do it anyway. That’s just not me.
AND
I REALLY REALLY REALLY want new ink. (Yes i know I sound like a teenager. oh well)..
I’m also waiting to get a new piercing. That should really go over well with the fam. They have this whole idea that moms of 4 just do not do these things! Its rather absurd. What does me having 4 kids have to do with it? How is me being a mom of 4 different than say a mom of 2 doing it? Or even someone with out kids? WHY the standards? JUST because I have kids?
If thats the case. It’s insane. There is no logic there. Stereotypes get you no where. Haven’t we learned this over time? Guess not..
One even said,” what are you teaching your kids? What kind of example are you setting?”
To which I replied,” well I HOPE i’m teaching them acceptance and that not everyone is the same and its okay to be different.”
Sure society has rules. Everything has rules. You have to decide how they apply to you and where you fit in. Thats all there is to it. PERIOD.. end of story.. GOT IT?
I have brothers with tatts and piercings. Our family accepts it. It is their life, it is their choice. We love them.
exactly.. it doesnt change who they are to you..
I agree with Kween Tosha. It’s up to you at this point in your life. Do what YOU want to do and the heck with everyone else. You are a grown woman with your own family. Tell them to BUTT OUT!
Oh I plan to.. I really don’t care what they say at this point. only $$ is keeping me from scratching the itch..
oooooooooooohhh I got the same itch ….in fact the itch has become a rash and blisters! I tell people once you get one it’s an addiction! I have a couple in mind and a couple of spots but no moola. DAMMIT! I think Obaman should stimulate my canvas and get me money for more ink
so I shall sit over here and scratch with you! OH and I snapped on some chick at our small group meeting last sunday. I was talking to somebody and she all of a sudden out of the blue goes…”Those are soooooooo degrading.” OH.NO.SHE.DuDin’t!” Oh I went off on her like a crazy lab rat on moldy cheese!
let the itching continue. Btw…not quite as irritating but an itch anyhow I want to get my tragus pierced almost as bad as I want another tat! SIGh
Whats degrading about it? Do you have ink on you that says WHORE? I mean that I could see to be degrading.. Or does your ink resemble a bimbo in a school girl uniform with a lolli in her mouth (with your name on her) with a caption under it saying “if I only had a brain”Now.. that would be degrading.. But the art itself? umm no.. That aggravates me so much.. What makes it degrading? It’s art.. Personal art .. just a different canvas.. And just b/c its not for her.. doesnt mean its degrading.. doesnt in any way shape or form lessen your value.. ugh.. and.. Some of the sexiest people i’ve seen.. Have ink.. a few.. are covered in it big time… Of course its all in the eye of the beholder.. and all that jazz.. but still you get my point.
personally I think it’s cuz she’s a pussy and couldn’t handle it anyway!
Just MHO
LOL! I know a few like that.. *shakes head up and down* yep!
omg we are so much alike. I was hoping my daughter would buy a new tat for me for my b’day so I even said to her…”don’t you have something you want pierced or a tattoo?” She’s like “you have to be the only mom I know who would ask their kids that.”
yeah ok..point taken now lets go!
haha.. no.. not the only one..LOL
Will you take me with you when you and JJ get more ink please? LOL I have two myself and would like to get one more on my back. Anyway, I’m with you and Joy on this one. You are a big girl now that is perfectly cabable of making her own decisions. Do what YOU want with YOUR life and forget the rest I say!
You are completely invited. Just no making me laugh during.. its serious business..LOL
oh wouldn’t that be fun if we all got together and go a group inking done
Gary would have to be off by himself or you know he would be making us laugh and who knows what the hell we would end up with.
the thought is scary..LOL
I would pay the artist and extra $50 to tat a dick on you JJ. You KNOW I would too! LOL
ha ha!!! dangerous grounds my friend.. LOL
But it would be SOOOOOOOOO worth it! LOL
I MAY have the answer to your question about people feeling a mother of four should not get tattoos or piercings.
Perhaps they look at a tatted mom and think. I wonder what she could have gotten her kids with that money. How selfish!
Maybe. But then again how much is a couple of rounds of golf?
I guess that could be a persons thoughts but I guess a tatted mom (myself) could have the same feelings about a mom or dad owning 100 pairs of shoes or going out to dinner weekly to get drunk with the girls or guys. Or like you said playing golf. My brother in law spends more on golf in one month than i’ve spent on my wardrobe in the past year.
I guess the selfish aspect could come into play if infact it were or should be considered at all. It’s only fair to play the selfish card when its true. As in someone spends more time with their buddies or hobbies than they do raising their children. Or they spend more time dining out with others than they do with their children. Or they buy excessively and their children go with out. Hmm.. BUT none of that pertains to me. EVER. Because 1. I rarely spend money on myself. I go with out so everyone else in this family can have what they need and want. I own one pair of shoes. (I could easily elaborate on this but I wont) 2. I never go out. I’ve been to dinner with a friend 2 times in the last 4 years.
3.It’s NEVER EVER about me. It’s always about my kids first and foremost. I’m the last to get what I need and damn sure the last to get what I want.
The ink i do have.. I didn’t even pay for.. My sister did.. And when I get the money to make it about me if I choose to do it through ink or a piercing.. I don’t think its selfish at all. Compare it with a shopping spree at the mall.. I can promise my ink cost less than the average person’s self indulgence.. I’m far from high maintenance.. I’m good with jeans and a tshirt and a pair of tennis shoes or boots..
As long as my kidlets are being cared for and not going with out to suit my own personal desires.. No one has the right to ever label it selfish. The only reason I don’t have more ink right now. Is because we’ve had a rough year. It’s not like we planned on getting hit by a hurricane and losing our belongings and then hubs getting laid off. And because of all of that. We’ve done with out so the kids wouldn’t. I’m not a selfish creature. I’m not selfish enough by any form.. Because even when given the chance to do something for me. Like most mothers of 4. I often do for my kids instead.. So..On the rare occasion I do something for myself.. I’d rather make it about me and what I want than what society or someone else may deem acceptable..
@ Tosha – Well, I’m a lurker who’s come out to play.
And I can’t wait to hear more about these tats. Good for you doing something for yourself.
@ mssc54 – Hi. =D I must admit to be extremely perplexed by your answer. Do mothers not deserve some moments of selfishness and pampering – a treat every now and again for their hard work? Would it be more acceptable if Tosha wanted a manicure, pedicure or a new purse? Would people then be supportive of her desire to do something for herself?
I must admit, that it would seem to me, the problem isn’t the fact that she longs to do something “selfish,” but the stigma that surrounds tattoos themselves. Only bad people get them, right? So what kind of example is she to her children!? Honestly, I find this to be an extremely ignorant argument. And to say she is selfish is shameful. Tosha is an extremely dedicate mother, so what, she wants to get a few tats? It’s her body and none of our business.
@Ang (aka Former Lurker) First of all let me be clear. I did not say that I said anyone getting a tat is being selfish. I merely answered Tosha’s perplexing questions:
“What does me having 4 kids have to do with it? How is me being a mom of 4 different than say a mom of 2 doing it? Or even someone with out kids? WHY the standards? JUST because I have kids?”
Of course that is pure speculation and rationalizing. I suppose each person could have their own reason. But it is more likely that the thought of selfishness is more likely.
And as for your questions (to me):
“Do mothers not deserve some moments of selfishness and pampering – a treat every now and again for their hard work? Would it be more acceptable if Tosha wanted a manicure, pedicure or a new purse? Would people then be supportive of her desire to do something for herself?”
No. Neither mothers nor fathers deserve to be SELFISH after they decide to have children. Dependant children should ALWAYS be the first consideration. Period. But then the question could be asked, “What should a parent do to ensure THEIR mental health on a day to day basis?” Is it that ink? Is it the pedi/mani? Is it an occassional round of golf? Is it an occassional night out with friends? The answer will be different for each person and each family. HOWEVER, (in my opinion) If any of these become a regular expense and takes away from the NEEDS of the children then it has crossed the line into an unhealthy selfish act.
Well said Ang! You GO GIRL!
If I had a tat for every friggin coach purse I see draped around the shoulders of somebody I know isn’t even working….I’d be one happy chick
@Javajunkee: As for the Coach purses. Interesting isn’t it how you can readily defend one person’s “vice” while condeming another’s? For instance our middle daughter has probably 15-20 Coach purses. She bought them as she was working through the process of her husband of two years being killed in Afghanistan. Baby Cooper was 3 months old when his daddy was killed. So you see Javajunkee, I believe that if a stupid $200 purse will give a young widow a brief moment of comfort… or even if she wants a new tat.
However, I am proud to say that she never stopped working AND going to college full time at the same time. She begins Pharmacy College in January.
You just never know what is going on with another person.
@ mssc54 – I think it’s interesting that you used the word vice and also made this into a personal issue, thus throwing around things like your daughter’s grief. To which I am very sorry to hear about.
I, myself, have loved ones there. A truly terrible tragedy, but I wonder why you would display it here and throw it into someone face to make a point? Doesn’t seem fitting, does it?
Interestingly enough, if I remember correctly from reading this post, Tosha got her tat in memory of her brother and I know for a fact that she was not only an extremely dedicated mom during and after, but that the tat itself has a deeply sentimental value to her. Vice is not a word I would say fits here.
As a parent myself I would agree with:
“If any of these become a regular expense and takes away from the NEEDS of the children then it has crossed the line into an unhealthy selfish act.”
What I’d like to know is why you directly linked getting a tat to being selfish or a vice? How does getting one even remotely relate to an unfit, selfish parent.? The use of the world unhealthy, however, clues me into your true feelings about tattoos.
And I’d have to say, you are either extremely idealist and naive or the world’s most perfect parent. Congrats to you on that, as a stay at home mother of four, I will admit that I NEED moments in my life when it is about me, for every waking moment of my life is about my children. Those precious moments when I can sit and unwind or do something for me, make me a better more loving parent.
Curiously enough, I must be living under the “I’m a stay at home mom who doesn’t have time to shop anywhere but Target” rock, because I don’t even know what a Coach purse is, let alone can I imagine buying a $200 purse. And the thought of owning 15-20 purses that cost around $200 a piece?! Dear Lord, I just can’t even begin to imagine… Um… sounds a bit unhealthy and selfish, but I am sure she deserved the pampering.
Also let’s be frank, this statement:
“Of course that is pure speculation and rationalizing. I suppose each person could have their own reason. But it is more likely that the thought of selfishness is more likely.”
is you saving face. Call a spade a spade, sir. You either think it is selfish or you think it is disgusting [my opinion - you think both
]. Either way, I have never heard a person say it was selfish to get a tat. This was the very first time! And I’ve heard a lot of negative talk on the topic of tattoos.
I respected your opinion and was just wondering why your immediate response was to pull the selfish card. Now, after having you talk down to me and others on this blog thread, it has caused me a moment of pause and made me wonder at your agenda and whether or not your are a respectful person yourself. I shall hold my opinion for now, judge lest ye be judged.
@Ang: You have a brilliant mind. You have found me out! I am a biggoted person towards anyone who ever got a tattoo. As a matter of fact I think a parent who has a tattoo is more selfish than a parent who buys drugs instead of a box of badly needed pampers or case of formula.
Yes my widowed daugher was selfish to try to sooth her anguish with the immediate impulse purchase of many, many expensive purses. I mean what in the world was she thinking?
And yes, I am a perfect parent. I have never, ever, ever made a single mistake. Well, that’s not entirely true. I made one mistake with our first three biological daughters. But now that they are grown and out on their own I hope that when we complete the adoption of our (2) new kids (a 5yr olf boy & 7yr old girl) I will not make that same single mistake the second time around.
Incidentally (since you mentioned Scripture in your close) it’s okay to judge behavior. Judging the soul is, however, above my pay grade.
And by the way you don’t sound a bit bitter or resentful about being a stay at home mom. Heck I’m sure you actually enjoy it. Hey, my daughter shops Target too. Look for her she’s the one with the dolphin tat on the top of her left foot and she has a beautiful sun tattooed in the small of her back.
@ mssc54 – Clearly you are interested in insults and winning. And honestly, I will not warrant any of your unfounded accusations with a response. You think you know who I am based on two comments on a blog thread? You think you can judge my actions and say such things so carelessly? Fine. Do so. I will still show you the grace you are unwilling to show me.
I simply asked a question, pointed out my opinion. You in turn came at me (and others on this thread) with insults and rudeness. And truly, I refuse to waste my time on someone who is so heartless. Take the plank out of your eye sir, it’s impairing your vision.
I’m sorry I missed all this today. I would have stuck my nose in it as well. Looks like you handled yourself quite well that Ang!
That was supposed to read, looks like you handled yourself quite well though Ang!
@Ang: “You either think it is selfish or you think it is disgusting [my opinion - you think both ].”
“I simply asked a question, pointed out my opinion.”
Lol – Right. You are an angel. I think I can see the glow of your halo!
@Gary Thank you.
I always wish there was an edit button for comments, don’t you?!
FO SHO!
@Tosha: Please forgive me for making comments on your blog that has caused your (regular) readers to become offended. The internet is most difficult to (completely) see one’s intent and what is truly in their heart.
@Ang: I must also ask for your forgiveness. No excuses nor rationalized reasoning. I should have responded in love instead of baiting you. I believe that our society would be better served if ALL mommies could/would take their most important role as seriously as you: a stay at home mommy. Enjoy your children while you can.
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I must admit I am not very keen on them it must be hard to select somthing as it will basicly be with you for the rest of your life. My daughter got one for her 18th and she loves it (its on her wrist & forearm but when she has a sleeve on it’s ok. I would always say if your gonna get one put it some where it can be seen but can also very easly be coverd. I was passing a wedding not that long ago and the bride had dragons going from top of chest and both arms in a white wedding dress MMMMMMMmmmm…. what will that look like when she is 60 or 70 folding things up to show the grandkids, think before you ink!
hey guys chill just relised i missed a couple of post if you dont stop arguing i will send you to your respective corners. do i make my sef understood, you may come back when you can play nice!